Sweet Sinangag and Soulmaking

It’s my tradition that, when a new hardware is installed for my desktop, I check up on the general condition of my computer again. After installing the software packaged in the LG DVD writier I bought yesterday (along with the AOC LCD monitor), I was surprised to find out that the Mother Console has less than a gigbyte of storage left! So I proceeded to weed the garden of files in my hard disk (which is a pathetically low 40 GB thing).

After uninstalling a few games, I stumbled upon the ‘relics’ of my old computer files. What’s more surprising is stumbling on a file titled ‘AR’s Journal 2003′.  Whoa… and the memories came crashin’ again… [this was the time when either I was ignorant of blogs or the craze hasn't come on yet]

Diggin’ up through the small pile of about 5 entries from January to March 2003, I found this bit, which I’d like to share:

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March 16, 2003
Friday
3:46 am (our clock)
3:16 am (real time)
Project 6 apartment, after coming home from celebrating our 7th monthsary of being brought together by God

 

I felt the urge to write in my journal because I’ve had revelations recently – one was through a dream, the other was through a book.

 

On Cooking Sinangag

 

I dreamt that I was making fried rice for breakfast or lunch but instead of putting salt, I’ve put sugar in it. Sugar of course will make it sweet. But fried rice needs to be salty. Nina has always commented that I was always perky – that I lacked empathy, especially when at times she felt low. I tried to fight of the idea – that I wasn’t always perky or at least I knew how to empathize. But after considering, I think she was right.

 

That’s one of my characteristics. The way I coed with my life before was to always look at the brighter side of things when things were going wrong. In that manner, I negated whatever negative thing was happening and I think that’s when I lost my ability to empathize. When I had the dream, I shrugged it off as another spurt of my creative unconscious. but then, the meaning of the dream dawned on me this morning and I knew I had to write it down before I forget my lesson. As perky and positive as I was, I was always putting sugar on all things. And yes, even sinangag – which was supposed to be salty. I had to realize that God gave us humans a range of emotions for use in the proper way.

 

I shouldn’t feel that I always need to cheer up my wife or myself. I should realize that emotions need to be felt – and there’s nothing wrong with that. Salt adds flavor. In times when my wife or I am going through trials that bring about disappointment and a sense of being low, I need to realize that flavor means getting what the lesson is, and never to lose hope. That it’s ok to feel that way because of the events that happened. That I know how it feels in a parallel situation in my life. Fried rice isn’t just salt added to cold rice. It needs to be cooked and subjected to fire and a lot of tossing and turning to get it’s taste even and have the rice heated properly – much like how God cooks us to perfection with all the trials that come our way.

 

My Wife’s an Angel

 

I’m currently reading a book entitled ‘Soul Making’. It talks about the desert experience and is a fresh new way to believe in Christianity – a way of believing the hearkens back to the ancient Church Fathers. I’ve been a slow reader and I’m only at the first chapter (after a relatively long introduction). On page 48, the author Alan Jones gives path to the way of believing like the desert fathers and mothers:

 

1. the need for detachment
2. the belief that nothing is accidental
3. the fact that we are not as free as we think we are
4. the conviction that remembering is an important part of the process of growth
5. the belief that while we have to do much of what we do alone, companionship is essential
6. the necessity of contemplative commitment
7. an appreciation of our “fallenness”
8. the mystery of having to let go of the things and people we love most

 

I’m now reading a section on no. 5 on the 8 steps – that companionship is essential. It talks about the need for others to bring out revelations in ourselves. Alan Jones talks about these people as Angels of God. Much like his experience with desert monks in Egypt, where he stayed at a monastery and was treated nicely. Asked why the monks treated him well, the monk said ‘you might be an angel’. In fact, that’s the philosophy of the monks who lived in the desert – that all who come their way might be angels of God. He sights three examples on angels in different people. One excerpt was in Franny and Zooey where he talks about the Fat Lady as an angel.

 

Angels bring about revelations that, without which, would hinder our full potential for growth. Now I truly believe that God has sent my wife as my angel. She has brought me to many revelations about myself. She has made me realize, as in the first revelation I talked about, that I have to come to terms with who I really am. She has made me realize how I’ve let myself be stupid for other people and that in turn has led to them taking advantage of me. But with those revelations, she has come to inspire me to become the person I am meant to be. The Inner Self whom God has created from the beginning. A person who will stand up for the right principles, uphold it with courage, and look through the eyes of love.

I know it’s a continuing process and revelations often shock and are initially rejected. I’m learning.

 

They say that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God (one of the Wisdom books in the Bible, I think it’s in Sirach…). The second step is admitting “I don’t know”. That’s when we are open. That’s when God can mould us and teach us our true worth.

Thank God He led me to my angel. And now, She’s my wife – whom I love very much.

 

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March 29, 2003
Saturday
6:16 am (our clock)
5:46 am (real time)
Project 6 apartment, after coming home from Nina’s workplace due to an overtime

 

“The believer is concerned with life. Why, then, all this talk of death and pits of terror? We all have to be – indeed, the believer is convinced that this is what God wants for us. The message is unambiguous: If you want to live life to the full, you must surrender life. What a paradox!”
- p. 72, Death in the Desert, Soulmaking: The Desert Way of Spirituality. Alan Jones. Harper Collins. 1989

 

“To come to this place where one is truly alive, one must hit rock-bottom. There must be a breakthrough to the place of deepest helplessness, ‘Then at last,’ writes Andre’ Louf, ‘a beginning can be made.’”
 - p. 83, The Gift of Tears, Soulmaking: The Desert Way of Spirituality. Alan Jones. Harper Collins. 1989

Points of Reflection – John Paul the Great, Of Faith and, the Youth

Holy Week is upon us. To get into the mood of the season, I decided to buckle down and continue reading ‘Crossing the Threshold of Hope’ by the late Pope John Paul the Great. As I have mentioned in my previous post, his book is a treasure trove of insights into the Christian, Catholic Faith.

So before I forget these insights, I’d like to share them with you, even if we belong to different faiths. Some points are universal and we can all agree on these.

John Paul the Great and His Conviction

I’ve come to realize one more thing about his work – he brings to life Jesus, God, and makes you realize how intimate he knows Him. John Paul’s passion is to let us know the Love of the Father through His begotten Son. It’s his personal knowledge, personal love, of God that permeates the book and give it its convincing power.

John Paul the Great is our Pope – my wife and I. He was the pope for almost 27 years of our lives, and he became pope on our birth year. His life and mission has come to portray his love for the Father and for sharing the Father’s love for humanity. He advocated social justice in the countries he visited and was instrumental in leading the world to prayer. These two works I suspect aided in the downfall of communism.

He was a man with unwavering conviction and during the times that he lived, became one of humanity’s greatest Guidestone* in an era of great uncertainty.

Read the book. I recommend that you don’t go through it in one sitting. It’s a relatively easy read (thoguh a Latin dictionary may come in handy). 

Salvation = Love

In a couple of chapters in his book, John Paul the Great expounds on the centrality of salvation in the Christian Faith. That this salvation comes from love, of God wanting to commune with his creation, and uniting it back to Him. Salvation can not come without Love. It is not enough to detach yourself from the world and seek out a personal salvation apart from everything. It is completed in seeking out to commune with the Creator.

Today, on Good Friday, we commemorate this act of salvation – an act that culminates in the sacrifice of a Life, that all others may live. Jesus, in His total obedience to the Father, became subject to the mockery and injustice of this world. This world that he came to save, became the source of His suffering. But it did not deter Him from His mission of saving humanity. It did not extinguish His love for us.

Because humanity is worth saving. Because you are worth everything to Him.

Hope on the Youth

I love how John Paul the Great described youth:

“What is youth? it is not only a period of time that corresponds to a certain number of years, it is also a time given by Providence to every person and given to him as a responsibility. During that time, he searches, like the young man in the Gospel, for answers to the basic questions; he searches not only for the meaning of life but also for a concrete way to go about living his life.” – p.120-121

I’m now 29 (argh!). and I feel so old. Tired, perhaps worn out from the constant day-to-day battle of living. But reflecting on where I am now, I smile. Yes, this has been where I wanted to be, to live – with a loving wife and kid, with the necessities to live by, and even a wee bit more to enjoy some of life’s pleasures. But I cannnot credit all that I have become to my own efforts. For back then, when I was younger, I’ve made a choice to allow God to work into my life.

What was my tipping point? World Youth Day, 1995.  In the presence of Pope John Paul and in communion with all the other young people of the Philippines and the World, I saw hope. Hope that there can be a better furutre. Hope that springs eternal, as tenacious as life itself. From then on, I knew God has led me – led me to a community of believers, The Lord’s Flock Catholic Charismatic Community, and then, led me on to discover life, and have it abundantly; Of joy in finding my soulmate where He had appointed it to be**. And of knowing that yes, He is there – by your side, ready to talk whenever you need a companion, a guide.

Pope John Paul the Great is the Pope of the Youth. His ability to reach out to the youth is explained by his approach. He is more interested in what the youth has to say to him, rather than what he has to say to them. Isn’t this what we always wanted when we were young? TO be listened to and believed. To know someone was there to consider your thoughts and views, instead of imposing their own ideas. To let you explore yourself, find out who you really are, and celebrate that.

Wow.

I can’t claim I’m still in that time period. Maybe it has passed, and I hope I’ve taken account of that resposibility. There is but one goal now – to know this truth about youth, and to be guided by it, to realize it in others, and to know how to cultivate it and share its passion so that once again, we can be young.

That’s the task I now have for our young Matthew. It’ll be a couple of years more… I’ll try – we’ll try - to prepare for it the best we can.

A Blessed Holy Week to everyone!

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* In reference also to the 3-D strategy game Homeworld from Sierra and Relic Entertainment. The Guidestone was instrumental in guiding the Exiles back to their Homeworld. (okay, so the gamer in me tries to come out once in a while…)

** At the UP Chapel, at or near the Blessed Scrament, my hiding place with God. (It was then located at the left side of the altar, now it has been moved to a level below).

This says it all…

Found this from Nina’s recommended website:

If you’re itching to unleash that pent up creative streak within, check out this link to an article by the artist who made the card.

(I’m perpetually astonished at how my wife really mines the web for these gems…)

Erratum: My wife corrected me and says that she got this link from the blog of a fellow scrapbooker.

Six Threads of Abundant Living

Some words to ponder.

“The six threads of abundant living, which when woven together produce a tapestry of contentment that wrap us in inner peace, well being, happiness and a sense of security.

The first of these is GRATITUDE. When we do a mental and spiritual inventory of all that we have, we realise that we are very rich indeed.

Gratitude gives way to SIMPLICITY, the desire to pare down, clear out and realise the essentials of what we need to live truly well.

Simplicity brings with it ORDER, both internally and externally.

A sense of order in our life brings us HARMONY.

Harmony provides us with the INNER PEACE we need to appreciate the BEAUTY that surrounds us every day, and beauty opens up to joy.”

This is from my wife’s blog.She got it from a fellow scrapbooker

John Paul the Great

Nina and I found a hard copy of ‘Crossing the Threshold of Hope’ about a week or so ago at Books for Less in SM Mall of Asia. It was a bargain to get it at a little less then P 400 and before buying it, Nina wanted my assurance that I would be reading it. I bought a book, which I read when I’m away – Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. i haven’t finished reading it. it’s been with me since 2005, i think… so now you know why my wife wanted a sense of assurance that we’re really investing in something I’ll actually use.

I said I would read it and yes, i’ve started reading it a few days ago.

It brings me back to the days of the World Youth Day 1995, when I too was at the threshold – graduating from highschool and entering college – and when John Paul the Great was here in Manila. His constant call to ‘be not afraid’ still echoes in my heart. And this is a constant message even in his book.

It has reminded me of how John Paul is really a great servant and teacher of the Faith. There is a sense of clarity in his words, yet you’ll be surprised at the level of depth at the topic he is discussing.

I’ve only managed to read through 2 chapters and am in the middle of half of the third. Already, he has talked about the Papacy – how it is a ‘contradiction’ to most just as Christ was when he was on earth – and of prayer – that it is the Spirit within us who yearns to pray and that man has been appointed to the priesthood of all creation in Christ.

Such profound insights which opens up your mind to the true meaning of the Christian Faith, the dignity of man, and the ever-presence of God.

His writing style begins with the exhortation of the Spirit, in Christ, and then aptly relates the words to men and men’s hearts.

I dare not interpret his words in the book, but here are some quotes that struck me when I was going over them:

“We begin to pray, believing that it is our own initiative that compels us to do so. Instead, we learn that it is always God’s initiative within us, just as Saint Paul has written*. This initiative restores in us our true humanity; it restores in us our unique dignity. Yes, we are brought into the higher dignity of the children of God who are the hope of all creation.” -p.17

“Prayer is always an opus gloriae (a work, a labor, of glory). Man is the priest of all creation. Christ conferred upon him this dignity and vocation. Creation completes its opus gloriae both by being what it is and by its duty to become what should be.” -p.18

“Creation was given and entrusted to humankind as a duty, representing not a source of suffering but the foundation of a creative existence in the world. A person who believes in the essential goodness of all creation is capable of discovering all the secrets of creation, in order to perfect continually the work assigned to him by God.” -pp.20-21

* “The Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings” -Romans 8:26

- Crossing the Threshold of Hope, Pope John Paul II, Edited by Vittorio Messori, Published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. 1994

>> I’m glad we bought this book. When Matt comes of age, I want him to discover this book. Hopefully, it will inspire him and guide him in life. We only hope his generation will also have great Teachers of the Faith. <<