Parenting XP: R is for Reindeer, B is for Bell, T is for Turtles!

He insisted that T is for ‘Turtle dude’ (“That’s Dada!”) and his son, Squirt! (“That’s me, Matt-Matt!”)

I can’t believe our little boy is going to school already!

And with school comes homeworks. We’ve had three encounters with letters, each letter taught to their toddler class roughly once a week. Nina says there are new classmates for Matt to play and learn with.

Their usual assignment is to come up with five pictures for a certain letter.

The teacher returned the ‘Reindeer’ since she teaches it as ‘Deer’. Matt was absent because of a cold when ‘B’ was taught. And we just finished having fun with the letter T!

Parenting XP: First Day of School and Fatherhood

June is, before Father’s Day became so popular and commercial, always – always – the start of school. It was a time of dread for all students. I was one of those kids who would have a queasy feeling in the stomach upon waking up on the first day of school. As I grew older, I asked my friend and bus mate this insane line of thought: “Who invented school anyway?” followed by “If I had a time machine, wouldn’t it be nice to get rid of the person who invented school so that in the future, where we are now, there wouldn’t be any school?”. Always. (hmm… so that explains my inclination these days to sci-fi and fantasy…). I could never recall a schoolyear when I actually looked forward to.

Now, the roles are reversed. I’m a father of a three-year-and-two-month old boy who decided, together with my lovely wife, to enroll our son to toddler school. The feelings too are reversed. We were shopping for school supplies and clothes for Matt the other day and we bought him his black shoes and rubber shoes. Both Nina and I marveled at how he has grown – from a fragile baby I was afraid of holding the first time we came home from the hospital. Now, he’s all grown up , trotting about in his new rubber shoes yesterday as the whole family (all three of us) went on to celebrate Father’s Day at The Old Spaghetti House in Makati.

He loves his new Mickey Mouse footgear. And it was he who noticed that the Mickey icon on his shoes looked angry. So whenever he would refer to his shoes, he would say “Mickey Mouse… arrgh.” with matching growl, and a smile and laugh after his parents join the fun. (Jeez… I could still remember the feeling of having my very own Mighty Kid shoes when I was in grade one or two, after everybody would have them and the fad was dying out.) But that was about the only thing exciting for me whenever June would arrive (unfortunately) – buying new stuff for school.

I guess my son and I shared the same feeling about going to school. His first day last week was spent crying over his mommy leaving him behind in a room full of strangers. His second day was also spent crying. Today, I’ve learned from Nina that his crying was intermittent, and that he actually listened to today’s lesson (The letter R). We always encourage him to like school – and I find myself contradicting my initial feelings and stand about the subject. I chose to spend the night with Matt reviewing him of his lessons and we both figured which words began with ‘R’. I dunno if I’m putting pressure on him, but I do strive to make our play and learn time fun. Maybe tomorrow, he’ll be OK. I know he will be.

A funny thing that Matt said today was narrated by Nina, when they were going to school today. Matt didn’t like his black shoes so much as his rubber shoes. But my wife eventually got them on his feet. It’s about noon time when Matt’s classes start. When they walk outside the house, they would usually run to the shadows of trees until they reach the gate of the subdivision. This time, since it was Matt’s first time to wear black shoes, when Nina asked him to run to the shadows of the trees, he said “Can’t run. Too big. (points to his shoes). Buy new one.”

Hearing that made my day, and strengthened my resolve to make Matt’s schooling days enjoyable.

———-

Footnote: I guess the road on from here would find me in more contradicting situations. That’s what fatherhood is, I guess. Knowing where you came from so that you can point your child to the direction that would be less troublesome for them to reach their fullest potential.

I do not want to put too much academic pressure on him, even if the outside world does expect it. I’d rather he discover his true gift, and ask God to polish it and refine it. Diamonds are made from the most intense pressures and temperatures. They can now be created artificially. But the most beautiful of diamonds and gems – and the most precious – are those that are polished from the rough, strewn from the crucible of nature, and fashioned by the hands of God.

Parenting XP: The Case of the Missing Cookies

When was the last time you listened to your kids? 

Last Wednesday, while I was hurrying to get ready for work, my three year old son woke up. My usual routine for these types of contingencies is to let the little kid feed on his ‘mamam’ (milk) and leave him quietly while he watches his favorite shows on Disney Playhouse. This sometimes happens a lot that I know I may be running late for work if the third Pocoyo is on.

But this time, since he was up much earlier, and Nina and I have a growing concern about his scarce diet, I decided to leave him breakfast before I left for work. I prepared a small tupperware container of 2 Chips Ahoy, 3 of the new Spanish Cookies with Cookie Monster in the wrapper (which, it turned out that Matt liked), and 2 Stikkos. It isn’t the most healthy breakfast, I know, but when I left him with the tupperware, happily munching on the smaller, Cookie Monster cookies while watching the TV as the intro to the 3rd Pocoyo started to play… (needless to say, I was 5 minutes late for work).

When I was at work and talked to my wife when she woke up, I asked about the container of breakfast treats I left the kid.

“What food?” She asked. I told her I left the small container on the bed with Matt. She said that it might be there, only that she didn’t seem to notice it. She thanked me for leaving food for the baby.

I returned from work early, and was still wondering how much food young Matthew was able to gobble down. I asked Nina again where the leftover food was, and she said she didn’t see the container I left. Hmmm…. NOw that’s strange.

Where can a three-year-old put the container of food without his mom ever finding it?

I checked the bed and under it, thinking that there might be crumbs and food all over the floor. Nope. Not there. Maybe he left it in the other room. Nope. Nada.

I finally decided to ask the kid. “Matt, where did you put your food?”

“Throw it. Down there.” He pointed to the window of the room, near the bed.

Impossible, I said. But could the kid actually do it – throw down the food from the window?

I went down stairs to check. And true enough, there at the back of the house, was the tupperware on the ground upsidedown. a piece of a stikko can still be seen on the wet ground. I was mad.

I was going upstairs and told Nina what I saw. She couldn’t believe it too. Matt was playing in our bedroom when I asked him why he threw the food down.

“No!” was the only thing he said. I asked him again. ”Matt-Matt, Why did you throw down your food!” I was angry, my voice was becoming louder and deeper, scaring the poor boy.

“NO!” He went to hi mommy for protection. I asked a third time.

“Feed the cats!” Matt said.

I was dumbfounded. He actually had a reason why he threw down his food! We have stray cats  that have become residents of this Ballesteros abode (the house and lot is my mother-in-law’s). We occassionally feed them with what leftover food we have. And this, Matt always sees and likes coz he can scare out the cats. We always tell him not to do so and leave the cats to feed.

So, how do you react to this kind of situation?

By now, Matt was crying since he knows I’m angry at what he did. Little did he know that there and then, I was sorry for my actions. My heart melted with every tear he shed.

I picked him up, said sorry, and told him that if he wants to feed the cats, he should tell mommy so that mommy could do it for him and he can watch. “It’s OK.” He continued his cry. I hugged him and looked at my wife, who was laughing at this ‘classic’ moment in our parenting life.

If only I asked earlier why he did it. Kids do make sense. If only us parents would listen to their reasons then maybe we can look at the world in their eyes and finally understand them a little more.