Parenting XP: First Day of School and Fatherhood

June is, before Father’s Day became so popular and commercial, always – always – the start of school. It was a time of dread for all students. I was one of those kids who would have a queasy feeling in the stomach upon waking up on the first day of school. As I grew older, I asked my friend and bus mate this insane line of thought: “Who invented school anyway?” followed by “If I had a time machine, wouldn’t it be nice to get rid of the person who invented school so that in the future, where we are now, there wouldn’t be any school?”. Always. (hmm… so that explains my inclination these days to sci-fi and fantasy…). I could never recall a schoolyear when I actually looked forward to.

Now, the roles are reversed. I’m a father of a three-year-and-two-month old boy who decided, together with my lovely wife, to enroll our son to toddler school. The feelings too are reversed. We were shopping for school supplies and clothes for Matt the other day and we bought him his black shoes and rubber shoes. Both Nina and I marveled at how he has grown – from a fragile baby I was afraid of holding the first time we came home from the hospital. Now, he’s all grown up , trotting about in his new rubber shoes yesterday as the whole family (all three of us) went on to celebrate Father’s Day at The Old Spaghetti House in Makati.

He loves his new Mickey Mouse footgear. And it was he who noticed that the Mickey icon on his shoes looked angry. So whenever he would refer to his shoes, he would say “Mickey Mouse… arrgh.” with matching growl, and a smile and laugh after his parents join the fun. (Jeez… I could still remember the feeling of having my very own Mighty Kid shoes when I was in grade one or two, after everybody would have them and the fad was dying out.) But that was about the only thing exciting for me whenever June would arrive (unfortunately) – buying new stuff for school.

I guess my son and I shared the same feeling about going to school. His first day last week was spent crying over his mommy leaving him behind in a room full of strangers. His second day was also spent crying. Today, I’ve learned from Nina that his crying was intermittent, and that he actually listened to today’s lesson (The letter R). We always encourage him to like school – and I find myself contradicting my initial feelings and stand about the subject. I chose to spend the night with Matt reviewing him of his lessons and we both figured which words began with ‘R’. I dunno if I’m putting pressure on him, but I do strive to make our play and learn time fun. Maybe tomorrow, he’ll be OK. I know he will be.

A funny thing that Matt said today was narrated by Nina, when they were going to school today. Matt didn’t like his black shoes so much as his rubber shoes. But my wife eventually got them on his feet. It’s about noon time when Matt’s classes start. When they walk outside the house, they would usually run to the shadows of trees until they reach the gate of the subdivision. This time, since it was Matt’s first time to wear black shoes, when Nina asked him to run to the shadows of the trees, he said “Can’t run. Too big. (points to his shoes). Buy new one.”

Hearing that made my day, and strengthened my resolve to make Matt’s schooling days enjoyable.

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Footnote: I guess the road on from here would find me in more contradicting situations. That’s what fatherhood is, I guess. Knowing where you came from so that you can point your child to the direction that would be less troublesome for them to reach their fullest potential.

I do not want to put too much academic pressure on him, even if the outside world does expect it. I’d rather he discover his true gift, and ask God to polish it and refine it. Diamonds are made from the most intense pressures and temperatures. They can now be created artificially. But the most beautiful of diamonds and gems – and the most precious – are those that are polished from the rough, strewn from the crucible of nature, and fashioned by the hands of God.